Murder / suicideYesterday morning the police told
reporters that Jack Horner had first murdered his older sister Jill by
throwing her off of a steep hill onto some rocks, and then jumped off
himself and died. Relatives believe he committed this terrible act
because of years of mental abuse by his sister. It is believed she
would make him sit in a corner for weeks at a time.
posted 6:50 PM +
Large omletThe huge egg-man beast that slew Godlizza in
2002 was finally shot down and killed as it rested on the Great wall of
China. Early estimates are that the corpse of this creature will be
used to create the worlds largest omlet.
posted 6:45 PM +
Class action suitThe verdict shocked the
courtroom and gave rise to protesters which had to be removed by guards...
guilty. As you all remember, earlier this year the Bear family killed
an intruder in their home. The Locks family has just won a law suit
and are suing the Bears for their loss.
posted 8:50 PM +
Price of gold plummets, economy in turmoil!After the
final verification that the golden egg-laying goose is in fact true, the
world market price for gold radically dropped. Inflation is expected
to rise to levels not previously expected until late in the 2030s.
posted 8:43 PM +
The wolf has been arrestedEarlier today the "Big bad
wolf" was finally arrested after charges of stalking ,counts of assault and
battery, and destruction of private property.
posted 10:39 PM + 
